


Not exactly common

by TheBiWhoLivedTwice



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Asexual Character, Asexuality, Bad Puns, Bisexual Character, Coming Out, F/M, Internalized Acephobia, Post-War, ace!Harry Potter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-10
Updated: 2019-01-10
Packaged: 2019-10-07 22:01:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17374046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBiWhoLivedTwice/pseuds/TheBiWhoLivedTwice
Summary: "Harry never thought about it. Well, that was not strictly true. He thought about it, but not like most people do. To be honest he didn’t realise it was weird to not want it, not for a long time."





	Not exactly common

**Author's Note:**

> Hi ! That's the first story I write in english (which isn't my first language) so I hope it's not too bad.  
> Enjoy !

Harry never thought about _it_. Well, that was not strictly true. He thought about it, but not like most people do. To be honest he didn’t realise it was weird to not want it, not for a long time. When he started Hogwarts he was way too young to think about sex, and when most guys (and probably girls too, he guessed) started being more and more interested in girls and boys, he really was way too busy being run after by a megalomaniac psychopath. Sure he had a short relationship with Cho but there was never any thought of going further than kissing.

It’s only during his sixth year that he had started to realise that this wasn’t exactly common. So he had tried to understand what other people were feeling, and _why_ they were feeling that. After a few sleepless nights thinking about it he had decided to just ignore it –which wasn’t hard with all that was going on at the time.

But he really couldn’t deny it anymore when, a few months after the battle of Hogwarts –and a few months after he got back together with Ginny- he accidentally walked in on Ron and Hermione, well… _doing it._

He was at the burrow –where he lived since the end of the war- and went up to Ron’s room to finish packing his trunk. The train for Hogwarts was the next day and for once he didn’t want to leave it for the last minute like he did every year. He opened to the door and froze, hand still on the handle, eyes fixed on his two _very naked_ friends. It’s only when Hermione yelped that realised that he was staring. He violently slammed the door, and ran down the stairs, not stopping when he almost knocked into George, or when a surprised Charlie asked if he had a dragon chasing after him.

He finally slowed down when he was outside of the house, but he kept going until he reach a tree at the far end of the garden where he sat with his back against the trunk, facing away from the house.

A few minutes later, he heard steps coming towards him and saw Ginny sitting down beside him from the corner of his eye. They stayed like that for a few minutes, neither of them talking, just enjoying each other presence quietly. It’s Ginny who finally decided to break the silence.

“So, what happened?” she asked, turning her head towards him. “Charlie told me that you ran out of the house, and a few minutes later I saw Ron and Hermione looking extremely embarrassed.”

“I… I went to Ron’s room, but when I opened the door… ” he felt himself start to blush, “there was Ron and Hermione, in a… well… _compromising situation._ ”

“Ugh”, Ginny laughed, “no wonder you were so fast !” Her laugh died down when she realised he wasn’t reacting. “Hey, you okay ?” she asked him gently.

“Yeah… yeah, I just…I… No, forget that, it’s nothing”

“No, it’s not, it’s obviously bothering you. You can tell me anything, you know ?”

“Don’t worry about it, I’m fine” he insisted.

It was evident she didn’t believe him but she didn’t push and he was grateful about it. Instead she just put her head on his shoulder and they stayed like this until Mrs. Weasley called them for dinner.

 

oOoOo

 

 

The school year had started for a month and they were already flooded with homework, but Harry couldn’t stop thinking about what had happened at the end of the summer. He knew he had to tell Ginny what bothered him at some point, or he would probably end up in a really uncomfortable situation.

He saw her from time to time throwing him a worried look, and he hated himself for worrying her, but he was so afraid of losing her. What if he told her ? Would she be disgusted ? Angry ? Would she break up with him ? Mock him ? Or try to ‘heal’ him ? No, she wasn’t like that, she would never force him. But would it be worse if she broke up with him now, or if she tried to accept him like he was and realise later that she couldn’t live like that ?

He couldn’t bear the thought and yet he was thinking about it all the time: in class, during meals, while studying, and it even kept him up at night. He was exhausted. Even Ron and Hermione had started to see that something was wrong, he could see it, and it suffocated him.

One evening, just imagining the look on his friends’ faces if he went back to the common room, he broke down. He isolated himself at the top of the astronomy tower and spend the evening alternating between crying and staring in the distance.

It was late, probably already past the curfew, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He had been there for a few hours when he heard footsteps coming up the stairs. ‘Probably a teacher’ he thought. He was going to get detention. Again. He sighed and turned towards the intruder, and… it wasn’t a teacher. Ginny stopped at the door for a second then tentatively took a few steps forward. He dropped his eyes to the ground and turned back around, leaning on the railing.

He felt her leaning beside him, but didn’t dare looking at her.

“Harry,” she started gently, ”I know you’re hiding something and it’s eating you alive. I didn’t say anything earlier because I thought that eventually you would tell me, or at least Ron or Hermione, or a teacher, or anybody really, but you can’t keep it to yourself forever. Not when it puts you in this state.”

He knew that, but it didn’t make it any less difficult. He opened his mouth a few times, but closed it again, not knowing how to formulate his words.

“I’m not attracted to you” he suddenly blurted out, finally facing her. “Sexually. I’m not attracted to you sexually.” Ginny looked startled, but he couldn’t back down now, it was like a dam had broken. “But I love you ! Very much ! Actually, it’s not exactly that I’m not attracted to you. I mean, I’m not, but I’m not attracted to anyone. Not guys, not girls, not… anybody. And I kinda think that sex is gross. I’m not saying that people shouldn’t have sex ! People should have sex ! If they want to. Just… not with me. And I… I would understand if you-” His voice broke and he cleared it before starting again, tears pooling in his eyes. “I would understand if it bothered you, and if you didn’t want to stay with me but-“

“Wait, “ Ginny cut him. “Wait. I don’t want to break up with you !”

There was a pause before he reacted.

“You don’t ?” he asked, disbelieving.

“No ! Why would I ?“

She looked genuine when she said that, but… it couldn’t be possible, could it ?

“Um… because I’m not normal ? And I don’t want to have sex with you. Ever. And-”

“First of all,” she cut him again, “that’s bullshit, you’re not ‘not normal’ or whatever. Being ‘normal’ doesn’t even mean anything, nobody is. It’s just a stupid standard that the society expect you to follow. And secondly, I kinda guessed it some time ago you know, and I don’t care.”

“…What ?”

“Well, you’re always uncomfortable when people talk about sex, and you never tried to have sex with me. Sure, at first I thought you were being a gentleman, but after some time I realised that you were just… not thinking about it” she explained.

“And you… don’t mind ?”

“No. I love you Harry, and sex is not that important. It’s nice, sure, but I don’t _need_ it. If being with you mean not having sex ever again, then so be it.” she said softly.

Harry felt his heart burst with love for Ginny. He threw himself into her arms and started sobbing uncontrollably, relief washing over him. She held him close, murmuring soothing word into his hear.

After several minutes, he calmed down enough to pull back a bit and look into her eyes.

“I love you so much.” he told her.

“I love you too.” She smiled at him. “Now come back to the common room, you need to sleep. We’ll talk more tomorrow if you want.”

 

oOoOo

 

For the first time since the beginning of the school year, Harry woke up feeling reposed. Well, maybe not reposed -he had been too exhausted for that- but at least he had slept well.

He kept his eyes closed a few minutes, relishing in the feeling, before he remembered _why_ he felt so good. He suddenly opened his eyes. He jumped out of bed, got dressed as fast as he could and ran out of the dormitories.

At the bottom of the stairs, he ended up face to face with a bewildered Ron.

“Hey, mate, I was gonna wake you up. You slept like a log today.” He looked at him more closely, then added with a smile, “You look cheerful.”

Harry opened his mouth, fishing for an answer, but was saved by Ginny who pushed Ron aside to kiss him good morning. He vaguely heard Ron make a disgusted noise behind them, and just to spite him, he brought Ginny closer and made the kiss last a bit longer than necessary. He felt her smile, which made him laugh in response, and he was forced to pull back.

Ron was making a face and grumbling something about not even having eaten yet. Luckily for him, Hermione chose this moment to come down her dormitories, and he was saved from starvation –his words, not Harry’s.

They chatted easily on their way to the great hall, then all through breakfast, and everything seemed lighter to Harry, as cliché as it sounded. Food tasted better, the sun shined brighter, and even Ginny looked more beautiful than ever –which he didn’t even thought possible. Everybody seemed to catch up on the fact that he was feeling a lot better, and the Gryffindor table was bubbling with chat and laughter.

They didn’t have class since it was Saturday, so as soon as they finished their breakfast, Harry took Ginny by the hand and led her outside. They walk for a bit around the lake, enjoying the morning sun, before Harry found the courage to bring the subject he wanted to talk about. He cleared his throat before starting.

“Yesterday you said that we could talk again if I wanted to, and I would like to do it now if you don’t mind.”

“Of course not, go on.” she said kindly.

They stopped and he turned to face her.

“It’s just… I want to be sure we’re on the same page about everything.” She nodded, encouraging him to continue. “The first thing is that I don’t want to have sex, and I’ll probably never change my mind –except maybe to have kids one day, but that’s another matter. I’m also uncomfortable with anything related to it: dirty talk, licking, or whatever. I’m not sure about full nakedness. If it has absolutely nothing sexual it might be okay, I guess I’ll have to see later. I’m okay with kissing, though I don’t particularly like it. I mean, I don’t mind if you want to kiss me but I’m not going to pursue it myself. I like to hug and cuddle. Actually I _really_ like to cuddle. And I think that’s pretty much it…”

“Alright, thanks for telling me. I’m glad because I _really like_ to cuddle too.”

He smiled before remembering something.

“Oh, there is something else that I want you to know about me. Um… It’s not exactly related to that but it’s an important part of me, and I hope it won’t change how you see me, because honestly it doesn’t change anything between us but-“

“Harry, you’re rambling” she cut him, amused.

“Yeah, right, sorry, um…” He passed a hand in his hair and took a deep breath. “I’m bi.”

“What ? Me too !” she said excitedly.

“Really ?”

“Yes ! Merlin, that’s so cool !”

She jumped in his arms and he spun her around before putting her down.

“Now I can point out cute boys to you,” she said cheekily.

He burst out laughing and they resumed their walk

 

oOoOo

 

A few days later, Harry was in the middle of a –boring- potion essay he had to finish for the next day, when a blurry red storm entered the common room and engulfed him in a hug from behind.

“Harry !” she cried while tucking something in his hand.

“Ginny ! What the hell ?!” He looked down at the paper he was now holding, then back up at her. “What’s that ?”

“It’s a letter from Charlie !”

“Okay...” He looked at the paper, puzzled.

She walked around the couch and flopped down next to him before starting to explain.

“He never dated anyone, and I remembered that a few years ago Bill was teasing him about it. At some point, Charlie got angry and yelled something about not wanting to have a relationship, and that sex and romance were overrated anyway, or something like that. Honestly I didn’t care at the time, I was too young to really understand what they were talking about. But I wrote to him to ask about it and guess what ?”

“I don’t know. What ?”

“There’s a word for it ! Look !” she pointed at a passage of the letter.

_[… ] I’m aromantic asexual – or aro-ace for short. ‘Aromantic’ means I don’t experience romantic attraction, and ‘asexual’ means I don’t experience sexual attraction. Of course you can be one without the other (in this case, people often say, for example, ‘homoromantic asexual’ or ‘aromantic bisexual’ depending on the attraction that they feel). Both are spectrums, and everybody experience it in a different way. Some people are sex or romance repulsed, some are neutral (like me), some are positive; some never experience attraction, and some experience attraction but rarely… It’s not widely known even though at least 1% of the population identifies as asexual, and probably as much identifies as aromantic. Both are part of the lgbtq+ community, and there are even pride flags: […]_

Two little flags where drawn under it. The first had five horizontal stripes from top to bottom: dark green, light green, white, grey and black, and it was written ‘aromantic pride flag’ under it. The second one has four horizontal stripes: black at the top, then grey, white, and finally purple at the bottom, with ‘asexual pride flag’ written under it.

“Asexual” he murmured, tasting the word on his tongue.

He looked up at Ginny who was beaming at him, and slowly smiled at her in response.

“I’m asexual.”

“You’re asexual.”

“Biromantic asexual ?”

“Sounds good.”

“Do you think there’s also a bi flag ?” he asked after a few seconds.

“I guess, yeah. We should buy one.”

“You mean ‘we should _bi_ one’.” he said with a smirk.

“Only if you _ace_ your potion essay.”

“I would if Hermione was near _bi_.”

“Maybe I could help you, I have an _ace_ up my sleeve.”

“Ah, you’re perfect, but I guess I’m a bit _bi-aced_.”

“That’s an _ace_ -ellent pun.”

They both exploded in a fit of giggles.

“Merlin, we’re the worst…” Harry said.

Ginny tucked herself under Harry’s arm and sighed happily. “I know, I love it !”

Harry looked at her lovingly. He was so happy it almost hurt. He never thought it could turn out so well : Ginny loved him, accepted him, she even found a word to describe him and show him he wasn’t alone. And now they were making awful puns together and cuddling, that was just perfect.

He gently kissed her hairs and closed his eyes, filling his lungs with her sent.

She looked up at him and he breathed out two little words that could seem insignificant but meant so much :

“Thank you.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a comment if you liked it, that would mean a lot to me !  
> (I enabled comment moderation because I don't want to risk people leaving aphobic comments on this story)


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